Hearpin my durp

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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Yes.

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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Matt Damon

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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knock knock ... no one was in

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Whas the difference between a boy going to a camp and a jewish boy going to camp? The jewish boys does not come back.

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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