What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is brown and sticky? Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

q

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

thumb_up thumb_down +21

your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops