Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Smart Blondes

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Penis

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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Watch your lips.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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AVB

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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