- Anti Joke

I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

Ham sandwich

Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

What do you call a black man with no education? An unfortunate outcome of our meritocratic society.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

Fire extinguishers are sexy.

What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

how do you confuse a blond?

Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.