What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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what happens during a climax apples

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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