Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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Ms. Smoot's class

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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