how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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get on your knees and make a donut face:)

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Cold camel scrotum.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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