ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

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Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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Mitt Romney penis

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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What do you call a girl who got raped by ger dad? Casey Anthont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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