knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

A pedophile walks into a daycare

knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

What is long and black The unemployment line

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

Women.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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