A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

Waseem is not a funny guy!

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

Where's my tractor?

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

7

who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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