Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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Knock Knock Come in

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what do a jew homosexual and a latino all have in common? human dignity.

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whats 2+2? 4

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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