Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

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CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Susie has Autism

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

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roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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