What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

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Do you want to hear an anti joke? No.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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