- Anti Joke

What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman

Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

I THINK I SEE BIGFOOT O is yo mom!! -____-

whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

This is not a joke.

A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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