watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Nickelback

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What Do You Call A Swimming Banana.. Nothing Bananas Are Inanimate Objects Therefore It Would Be Impossible For It Swim

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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why did the clown go to the hospital? i hit him in the leg with an axe.

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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96

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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