Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Knock, knock (No one was home)

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did you say? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +51

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

this sentence will not monkey banana pie

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops