Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Hey, look under there! Under what?

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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