My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Where's my tractor?

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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9/11

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

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*you're

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops