How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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wanna hear a joke? not really

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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