Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Knock knock Come In.......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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