A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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