What does A duck smoke? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I am on a escalator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

get on your knees and make a donut face:)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

thumb_up thumb_down +28

7

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the child die? Natural causes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats 2+2? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops