don't look behind you

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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Turn around.

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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what happens when you get ben roethlisberger, and a young college student? a very pleasant evening, helping ben cope with all the drama he has been in the past year leading him to the 2011 super bowl against the green bay packers.

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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