Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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Turn around.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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