Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

What number comes after 29? 30.

What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

How did the girl die? 25.

Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

hey.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

Hi

How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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