What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Yes, finally caught that mouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +54

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What abou three times

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call six million jews? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops