What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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