hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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What's 9+10=? 19

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops