Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Come In.......

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

thumb_up thumb_down +2

your a towel.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down

Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down

When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

thumb_up thumb_down

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

thumb_up thumb_down

two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops