What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

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Whats worst than the world ending? Charlie Sheen Not Winning

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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