roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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What did the clock say? The time.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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Yo daddy!

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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