What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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