Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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what's worse then being dumped? NOTHING

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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k

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What's worse than getting a detention? Slavery...just kidding that was a good thing!

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Hey man have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? ... Neither has he

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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Once upon a time.

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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What is black, white, red and blue? ..... A cow dressed as superman.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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whats water and frozen? an ice cube

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What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

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There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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