Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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Kah-________-

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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