Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

Chuck Norris died.

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

Why did the asian die? he was driving

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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