Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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¿melano?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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69

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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women

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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Adam gives a new view of roid rage

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops