Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +94

-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down +64

what did the chicken say to the farmer? nothing, chickens dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

?????????????????????? ????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ...?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? you mad?

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. He never got an ice cream he is alergic.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

thumb_up thumb_down -111

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

thumb_up thumb_down +215

So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +119

So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The NHL playoffs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

who has no willy? robbie kearns

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how black is a black man? pretty black.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops