The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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whats long and black? a baton

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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