Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops