A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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