OBAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why did the bunny eat his food

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock knock (No one is home)

thumb_up thumb_down +47

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I avhe dyiaexls.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops