knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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There is a white man, a black guy, and an Asian in a car. It got into an accident who did it? Asian dude

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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School : Todays lesson, 1 + 1 = 2 Exam, find the radius of the sun

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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Wats a joke?

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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Children playing GTA......... what a world of rapists

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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What did the man bring home from Africa? AIDS.

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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