What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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the jokes are repetitive on this site

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops