why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

The Bible

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

why was the man gay? because he likes men.

How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

Women's Rights

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

Woman's rights

What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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