My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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