How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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no

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Knock knock What

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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The 19th Amendment

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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