Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

what do you call a black man named mike

Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

Whats another word for Thesaurus?

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

Vagina-Boob

Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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