YOUR MOM JOKES ARE SO OLD because the last time i herd a ur mom joke i fell off my dinosaur...

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out the tree? Hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out the tree? Peer pressure

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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You smell bad? Cool.

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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OBAMA

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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who hooked up with Sinead Walker? • Liam Findlay

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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