Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

4023145287

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

thumb_up thumb_down +8

d

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops