I'm going to Re-write History... History

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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