What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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Nobody cares.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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