Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Knock Knock Come in

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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