What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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I only like NY as a friend.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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k

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kiss me?

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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