How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Compton

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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don't look behind you

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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whats better than 24................. 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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